Jew in the suburbs


The Bracha: A story of a blessing
February 24, 2009, 4:14 am
Filed under: Hashem, Jewish, Judaism, Shul, women | Tags: , , ,

 

 

 

Dear Blog readers,

 

Several weeks ago I had a wonderful opportunity to be blessed by a Rebbe and I took it.

I was so excited and to tell you the truth, nervous.  I’m sure if not all people who have been blessed by a Rebbe can say, it was a big deal most can.  Out here in the suburbs, I feel it is an even bigger deal because the opportunities to be blessed by a Rebbe are few in comparison to big cities such as New York.  Rebbes don’t always come to the suburbs for three day visits.  I felt an urgency to get a Bracha, a blessing.  Perhaps more of an urgency than I would have felt if I now lived in New York.  I thought to myself, I had better get a Bracha from this Rebbe ASAP because who knows when I will get the next opportunity and how often will a Rebbe come to the suburbs?

 

I was filled with excitement about getting a Bracha and I should mention that it was the first time in my life that I had an opportunity to get a blessing from a Rebbe.  Someone told me that I should ask for a Bracha for another person before asking for myself.  This was common sense to me and to do anything else would be against the person that I am.  I always think of others first, I always try to think of others before myself. And don’t feel right requesting something just for myself when I can request the same for others in need. I did some preparation before receiving my Bracha.  A few days before, I collected the full Hebrew names of people I knew, double checking some of them to make sure my information was correct;  I then made a list of all of these names and next to each name  I wrote the things I wanted these people to be blessed with. When I got to the shul the next afternoon, I was surprised to see that there were not that many people waiting, but I was happy. I knew this Rebbe was going to be in my community for three days and for many hours during these three days would bless the people who came to him.  I had chosen to come the first hour he was there on the first day.  This Rebbe decided he was more comfortable giving blessings to people in the sanctuary after a few minutes inspecting another room.  When we were asked to come in, this Rebbe was sitting at a long table I watched as  other people got their blessings and then I was summoned to get my Bracha but I didn’t realize it.  I thought there were people ahead of me and I said people who were not ahead of me could go before me but this would not do.  I walked over to this Rebbe, in my opinion quite timidly and thank G-d, he gave me a blessing which encompassed within it everything.  I was disappointed that I was not able to ask this Rebbe for blessings for others.  I thought I would have the time and I didn’t so although I got a Bracha I felt disappointed that I did not have the time to ask for others.  This Rebbe needed to give a Bracha and move on to the next person.  I know that after receiving my Bracha, I walked out of the shul, my feet steps light and thought to myself its working already which was a very comforting feeling

 

Hours later I felt even more gratitude toward Hashem and this Rebbe than I felt when I first got the Bracha because I thought about it more and was able to process it.  I had prepared so much in order to get this Bracha, and the moment I had to get it was so fleeting even though I knew that I felt lighter on my feet walking out of the sanctuary and the shul after getting my blessing, I also felt bad because I tried to let other people get in front of me in order to get their Bracha first and I came with a list of people who I wanted blessed and was not able to talk about to him about these people so I had a sense of guilt that I could or should have done more.  When I told my friends this, they were not surprised.  They know I want the best for others and that I think of others before I think of myself and that is why I wanted other people to get their blessings first.  It was a beautiful experience, one that I’m glad I have been able to reflect on.  Yes, I wanted others to get their blessings first, but after reflection I realized that maybe it was part of the plan that I was summoned up to get my Bracha at the exact moment it was meant to be and when I left they were able to get their blessings I am thankful to Hashem and I am thankful that the Bracha I received was and is so very helpful.  Everyday in little ways since that day several weeks ago, I see myself in small ways getting stronger in areas of life.  May all of you have blessing upon blessing and get whatever it is you need at the right time.

 

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I lay Awake
February 23, 2009, 3:37 am
Filed under: Frum, Hashem, Jewish, Torah, write | Tags: , ,
This peom was written  last year for the eight yeshiva students murdered on Rosh Chodesh Adar.
   
I  lay awake asking why, why HASHEM and I cry. Tears flow down my startled face, a disgrace.
 
 Celebration, and pain
 
 Men who love HASHEM have been slain and there are no words to describe how much pain there is inside,
 
 Mothers and Fathers have lost their young, have lost their sons Sons who drank in the holiness of your words like water to survive in your Holy City.
 
They did not forget you Yerushalayim. Simcha and Holy Torah were on their minds and protected in their hearts.
 
What beautiful lives, HASHEM hear Yerushalayim’s sigh,
 
 count each tear of your people as they cry. I find it difficult to speak, so I turn to you. I turn to you HASHEM,
I turn to Yerushalayim, and I turn to my pen once again.