Jew in the suburbs

I Am Woman
January 15, 2009, 4:32 am
Filed under: disabillity, Frum, Hashem, I am a Woman, Jewish, Jewish, Judaism, Orthodox, women | Tags: , , , ,



About six months ago I decided to change hairdressers, I got my hair cut by a different hairdresser and loved it when I got used to it. However, I didn’t like the way I was treated as a person, and tried to tell myself that the woman who cut my hair didn’t mean it. Let me explain what happened. I went in with another person and she spoke to that person about me instead of directly to me. My believe is, she saw I didn’t walk perfectly and thought I lacked intelligence. I was nice to her but didn’t like the way she made me feel. I find that I have to get my hair cut a lot because it grows so unbelievably fast. The next time I went back was about a month later. Being an Orthodox Jewish woman, I always wear long skirts or dresses. When I walked in to the hairdresser’s place of business I noticed the way she looked at me. I began to talk to her and as the conversion progressed the look didn’t fade. It was a look of bewilderment.  I had a gut feeling and I went with it. I started to talk with the person I came with, the same person I came with the first time I went to this hairdresser. It was small talk. I revealed nothing too personal about myself and nothing personal about others. I used the words in the community and in my community. Finally, my fairly new hairdresser said “What do you mean when you say your community?” I told her “I’m an Orthodox Jewish woman, that’s why I always wear long skirts and long sleeves. She responded very innocently “Oh I thought you were a cripple.” My gut feeling had been confirmed. The person who came with me was in shock, her eyes went wide and she looked as though she was holding her tongue waiting for my reply after hearing the word cripple, a word which I hate, a word which as far as I am concerned should be struck from the English language or should be considered a curse word. My response came calmly. “No I’m not a cripple. I just dress modestly. It makes me feel more comfortable.” She told me she thought it was became my legs looked deformed and I did not want people to see them. I told her honestly my legs don’t look deformed.


I must explain that this woman, who was not close to my grandmother’s age meant me no harm. I could see that she thought there was nothing wrong with her attitude or the word she used. Some people have told me she would have made them angry and hurt by her thinking and her use of such a terrible and untrue word. Getting angry would have been easy, what she said was hurtful, but I decided not to be hurt, to take it from where it came. The statements came from a sweet woman who didn’t realize she was saying or doing anything hurtful. I made a choice to educate instead of getting angry or allowing anger to cloud me.


I am not a cripple and I don’t believe cripples exist, that being the case as I said before, I believe with my whole heart that the word should be erased. It is a word that carries with in pain and untruth. I am not a cripple, I don’t walk perfectly but I am not a cripple.


I am a caring, understanding, compassionate, strong woman. I am a woman who is educated. I am a woman who has great faith in G-d. I am a woman who Thank-G-d has people who love and care about me. I am a woman with talents and a woman with so much love to give. I am a woman and I refuse to be defined nor should anyone else allow themselves to be defined as a cripple. I am a woman.              

August 28, 2008, 12:55 am
Filed under: author, Jewish, Jewish, Torah, write | Tags: , ,



Hello Blog Readers,


For at least two years I wondered why anyone would keep a blog.  To me they seem like diaries, and diaries in my opinion should for the most part remain private.


 Why you ask would I venture to write a blog?  In truth, and to my surprise, an idea for a blog came to me last summer, I decided that before I wrote anything, I should do some research to make sure that this idea was original.  What I found was a beautifully written blog called Jew in the City. 


“That’s my idea”, I thought “and it’s already being done.”  I subscribed to the blog and forgot about writing my own.  I didn’t see the point.  Lately however, friends have been telling me that I should council people and that I have so much wisdom to share that I should write a non fiction book about my life because so many people would relate to it on at least one level.  I have been told by many that I am one of the most determined people they have met.  I am a modest person, I don’t know if all of that is true.  I do know that I am determined; I know that I have had many obstacles in my life and that I have always tried to keep a positive attitude and outlook.  I know that I want to help others. 


The purpose of my blog is to change negative attitudes and to show that although life can be very difficult; people can overcome their challenges and be stronger people because of them.


I am an orthodox Jewish woman with a disability.  I am a person who has faith and I continue to face challenges on my journey.   I am not alone, all people have frustrations.  It is how you deal with those frustrations that is important.  I want to inspire people and to give them hope.  I need to make it clear that I am not a Rebbetzin.  I am just a young orthodox woman living in the suburbs, full of determination to overcome obstacles with ability, thank G-d, to help people I come across to have a positive attitude when they are feeling frustrated and down.  I have a lot to say and I realize now that there is room for two Orthodox women trying to create and maintain positive influences while disregarding stereotypes, there is room for both Jew in the City, and me Jew in the Suburbs.